Two years ago was one of the scariest nights of our lives. Thankfully Thomas and I were home and awake when our bathroom caught on fire due to a faulty exhaust fan. We were able to get out without injury thankfully but our whole bathroom was destroyed and we had massive water and smoke damage all throughout the upstairs and downstairs. Everything we owned had to be packed up, examined, and cleaned. Not everything was salvageable and the house went through 4.5 months of mitigation and renovation. This experience taught me SO much that night and the many days that followed.
Here’s some of the things I learned from that night and the many days that followed (and there’s a story to accompany each of these but if I shared every story this post would be way too long):
- Some noises should be investigated.
- Shock is a very real thing.
- Five minutes can feel like an eternity in the midst of a stressful situation.
- Firefighters are true superheroes.
- A little compassion goes a long way.
- It’s okay to not be okay.
- It’s okay to not be ready to talk.
- Sometimes life really isn’t fair but you have to learn to look for the silver linings. Look for the helpers. Look for God at work. Your perspective will change.
- Take things one day at a time and if that still feels overwhelming then take them one detail at a time.
- It’s okay to take a break for your own mental and spiritual health even when you have a million things to do.
- Emotions are tough and truly come in waves. One minute you can be totally fine and the next you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
- Ask for help and allow others to come around you. You were never meant to go through life on your own.
- Thomas and I have one of the best villages around us full of people from so many stages of our lives who stepped up in incredible ways to help us.
- God can take your darkest moments and make them into something absolutely beautiful.
Having gone through a fire (which was small compared to what others have experienced but still rocked our world), here are some things that were most helpful for us and that may help a person or church who is trying to minister to someone in a similar situation:
- The very next morning our church gave us a check to help with food and any other needs we had in the first few days following the fire. This was especially helpful as there were a bunch of unexpected expenses that needed to be taken care of.
- The Bridge Network of Churches brought us some of our favorite snacks and drinks the day after the fire. It was nice to have some of our comfort foods!
- A church member brought us a laundry basket full of SO many things that we needed but forgot to get. This included some basic first aid items, spoons, spatulas, basic kitchen utensils, hydrogen peroxide, toothbrushes, toothpaste, Ibuprofen, Acetaminophen, paper plates, bowls, snacks, hydrocortisone cream, towels, hand towels, paper towels, etc.).
- Someone let us borrow a toaster oven and air fryer which were both extremely helpful since the hotel kitchenette was very small.
- So many people reached out in the days following the fire to make sure we were okay. That was very appreciated, but just realize that the person you are reaching out to may not have the energy to respond fully especially in the first few days. Your care is appreciated but just don’t get upset if the person doesn’t give full responses or answer every question.
- It takes A LOT for some people to reach out and ask for help. Do NOT ask them why they are asking for help. If you choose to help, great. If not, then that’s fine too. Just don’t make them feel self-conscious about having to ask for help.
- The need does not end in the first few days after the fire. There’s so much paperwork with the insurance company and dealing with the renovations and contractors. Don’t assume life has gone back to normal just because they are in a long term rental. Check in every so often and just see how they are doing.
Just a few thoughts as I continue to process it all even two years later!
