We live in an age where everything is streamed online, where everyone has an opinion—and some voices are especially loud. It’s also an age where pastors are called to lead and serve, yet often feel the pressure of public perception. This is the world I stepped into when I was called to be the pastor here at St. John’s Baptist Church.
Internally, I was also wrestling with the stigma of being a female pastor. I didn’t want to be seen as the stereotypical “emotional woman in leadership.” Anyone who knows me knows I am emotional—but I worked hard to hide that side of myself. I didn’t want to cry in front of anyone. The problem was, in suppressing the tears, I was also cutting off the good emotions—joy, connection, vulnerability. I became stuck in my own head, leading not from a place of authenticity, but from a desire to appear “strong.”
Over time, through reading, coaching, prayer, journaling, and conversations with people I trust, I’ve done a lot of inner work. I’m still far from perfect, but I’m now in a much better place—leading not just with my head, but also with my heart.
This personal growth has led me to a bigger question:
What does it mean to lead authentically—with passion and emotion?
I’ve seen pastors, like I was, stuck in their heads—detached, overly analytical. I’ve also seen pastors on the other end of the spectrum, using emotion to manipulate people, and that’s not authentic either. So again, I ask: What does it really mean to lead authentically—with passion and emotion?
Naturally, I turn to Scripture and the ministry of Jesus for answers. Jesus experienced and expressed a full range of emotions. He walked through the highs and lows of life with His disciples, friends, and followers. Here are a few Scriptures that have helped guide my thinking:
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John 15:11 – “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”
Jesus experienced joy and wanted His followers to have it too. He celebrated with them—at weddings, on the mountaintops, and in everyday life. -
John 11:35 – “Jesus wept.”
At the tomb of Lazarus, Jesus was moved by the grief of those around Him and He wept—despite knowing He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead. If Jesus could openly weep, surely it’s okay for us as leaders to weep too. -
John 2:15 – “So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables.”
Jesus expressed righteous anger when people were being cheated in the house of God. -
Matthew 23:33 – “You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell?”
Jesus challenged the Pharisees—the religious elite—when they misled others. His words were bold, direct, and emotionally charged.
These passages (and many others) show that Jesus felt deeply and lived authentically. What can we learn from His example?
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Emotions are not sin. Jesus experienced them—so we can, too.
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Jesus didn’t hide His emotions. He didn’t pretend to be okay when He wasn’t. He showed joy, sadness, anger, and love without apology.
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Jesus didn’t use emotion to manipulate others. He never guilted people into following Him. He invited them—lovingly, truthfully, and passionately.
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Everything Jesus did was rooted in love. His emotions were a natural overflow of that love. If He had concealed them, He would not have been fully authentic.
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Jesus lived a perfectly authentic life. While we won’t get it perfect, we are called to strive toward the same kind of authenticity in our ministry.
As I continue this journey of leading with authenticity, passion, and emotion, I know I can’t do it alone. I’ve had to give trusted people in my life permission to speak into my leadership—to tell me when I’m stuck in my head instead of leading from the heart. Those conversations are hard, but they’re necessary. We have to tear down the walls around our hearts and walk this path together.
So I invite you to join me on this journey. Let’s lead authentically—head and heart aligned—and trust God to work through every tear, every joy, every hard conversation, and every step forward.
